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What about that.. 6/16/2019 A buddy ask me the something day... He said if me and your wife had sex <br><br> And I got her pregnant would that make us kin...haha <br><br> I said nope... <br><br& 0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Back from Iraq 5/3/2019 A buddy of mine got back from Iraq, third tour as a marine. They really do use camels as the main means of transportation. They have to take a camel driving test, they give on mon., wed. and fri. They 0 Comments, 43 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A Blonde Husband 5/3/2019 women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, getting a boob job." <br><br> The second wo 0 Comments, 47 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Scotish Obituary 3/23/2019 A Scottish woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. <br><br> The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 0 Comments, 71 Views, 0 Votes | |
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That's a Lawyer 3/23/2019 As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" <br><br> The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to 0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Texas Lawyer 3/18/2019 No Offense to Texans, Lawyers, Judges, Grandparents, or anyone else. <br><br> Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. <br><br 0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes | |
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At the Funeral 2/24/2019 A cardiologist died and was given an eleborate funeral. <br><br> A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service. <br><br> Following the eulogy, th 0 Comments, 116 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Cotton Candy 2/24/2019 So this old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn. <br><br> He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible. <br 0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Man ask the Doctor 2/11/2019 Do you think I shall live until I'm ninety, doctor?" "How old are you now?" "Forty." "Do you drink, gamble, smoke, or have you any vices of any kind?" <br> 0 Comments, 63 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Woman buys a Gun 2/11/2019 A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "Its for my husband, " she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?&qu 0 Comments, 37 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Marriage Game 2/5/2019 My girlfriend said to me last night, “You treat our relationship like some kind of game!” <br><br> Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance!!!!!!! 0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Penis Book 2/5/2019 A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?" <br><br> The librarian checks her computer and says, "I don't know 0 Comments, 27 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Grab Them 1/25/2019 Grab'em by the pussy Trump said Did he mean while getting head Cause I do that anyway And don't tell before I spray Then grab them by the tits She says this thing never quits I say I know ain& 0 Comments, 34 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Fighting 1/23/2019 Nine-year- Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose... ..., black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he a 0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes | |
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How it really is 1/23/2019 My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do 0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes | |
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New Playboy Magazine 12/22/2018 Did you here about the new Playboy book they are coming out with for married men??? <br><br> The centerfold is the same woman every month!!! lol. 0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Painting Nuns 12/13/2018 The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold 0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes | |
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anti depressent pill 11/30/2018 Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you a proper prescription. Simply showing your marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!' lpl 0 Comments, 30 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Marriage Counsler 11/30/2018 After 35 of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the they had been married. On an 0 Comments, 130 Views, 0 Votes | |
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strip poket 11/28/2018 Playing strip poker late one night Losing every hand so I get naked first There is a brunette on my left blonde on my right My cock is throbbing ready to burst <br><br> My wife's alrea 0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Startling Sex 11/19/2018 A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem ... <br><br> In response the doctor said, & 0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Why married women are heavier than single women 11/12/2018 Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women 0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Nuns at the Hospital 11/12/2018 A man suffered a serious heart attack and had bypass surgery. He awakened to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked how he was going to the bill. H 0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes | |
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wife 10/27/2018 What do you call a woman with no clit?? <br><br> <br><br> ........ <br><br> Nothing she won't cum anyway!! lol 0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Hillbilly 10/27/2018 We all know why the chicken crossed the road.. Why did the hillbilly cross the road??? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> . Cause his dick was stuck in the chicken!!! 0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes | |
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boomerang 10/27/2018 What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back??????? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> . <br><br> A STICK 0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Day Off 7/10/2018 Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. <br><br> “Boss, ” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the atti 0 Comments, 33 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Baseball Game 7/10/2018 One day, the devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. <br><br> Smiling, the Lord proclaimed, “You don’t have a chance. I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle and all the greatest players 0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes | |
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In a Pussy 7/4/2018 I wish I had my cock in a pussy right now It's hard as a rock you want to see How'd you get it that big tell me how I wish you had ask me before I went to Pee!! 0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Lil Johnny first grade 7/4/2018 The first grade teacher walks into class. She sees Johnny sitting there and holding his kitty cat. She says Johnny why do you have your kitty cat at school? <br><br> He says " I heard 0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A Farm Couple 6/8/2018 Once there was an elderly couple that lived on a farm. One day the farmer came to his wife and grabbed her boobs. <br><br> He said, "If we could get milk out of these things, we could 0 Comments, 105 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A True Blonde 6/8/2018 A blond goes into a world-wide message center to send a message to her mother. When the clerk tells him it will be $300, she exclaims, ''I can't afford that, but I would do ANYTHING to get 0 Comments, 101 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Blonde on an Airplane 6/8/2018 A plane is on its way to Houston when Amanda, in economy class, gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down. <br><br> The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to se 0 Comments, 54 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Stolen Credit Card 6/8/2018 Question: Have you ever had a credit card stolen? <br><br> Answer: Yes, my wife’s credit card was stolen. <br><br> Question: Did you report it missing? <br><br> A 0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Money Back 5/25/2018 A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." <br><br> The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United S 0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Just Confirmed 5/25/2018 It's just been confirmed Monica Lewinski voted for Trump. She said the last Clinton in office left a bad taste in her mouth.... 0 Comments, 25 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A Close Shave 5/12/2018 A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. ''I have just the thing, '' says th 0 Comments, 88 Views, 0 Votes | |
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4/15/2018 Why are you in this particular line of work?' A sociology researcher asked the massage-parlor girl. <br><br> 'I'm trying to pay back this loan shark named Paul something or o 0 Comments, 27 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Cat and a Rooster 4/15/2018 There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way 0 Comments, 54 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Tell if she's a Virgin 3/19/2018 A fellow talking to his friend says, "How can I tell if my girl is a virgin?" <br><br> Friend tells him, "You have to wait till your wedding night, you show it to her and as 0 Comments, 152 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Turkey Tattoo 3/19/2018 A woman walks into a tattoo parlor, and asks for a turkey on her right inner thigh and a Christmas Tree on her left inner thigh. <br><br> The tattoo guy looks at her and says, "If you 0 Comments, 71 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Biker Sex 3/19/2018 Tired of the boring "straights" she'd been laying, a gal decided she'd find out if bikers were really the heavy "cocksmen" that she heard they were. <br><br> So 0 Comments, 82 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A man and his new piece 3/10/2018 A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles ... Something she just loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked 0 Comments, 37 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Looking for Love 2/17/2018 A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... Looking for man with these qualifications: - won't beat me up - won't run away from - is great in bed. She got lots of phone calls 0 Comments, 109 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Talking Pussy 2/10/2018 Do You Know How To Make a Pussy Talk ????? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> Put a Tongue In It !!!!!  0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A Barbie from Santa 1/20/2018 A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, 'What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas'? <br><br> The li 0 Comments, 60 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Athlete of the Year 1/20/2018 Not really a joke.. but it really is.. <br><br> Did you hear about this athlete? <br><br> He was so fast he won first and third place in a jack off contest!!! <br><br& 0 Comments, 25 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Stop Masturbating 12/25/2017 A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much, " the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?&qu 0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Little Sally 12/25/2017 Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face. She told her mom, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today." Before mom could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded 0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes | |
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pregnancy success 12/25/2017 Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it!! 0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A Barbie Joke 9/26/2017 A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, 'What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas'? <br><br> The li 0 Comments, 68 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Another for the Ladies 9/26/2017 Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." <br><br> Th 0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Which Hair 9/26/2017 A lady is working hard in her office when a co-worker tells her that her hair smells good. Immediately, she goes to her boss and tells him that she has been sexually harassed. <br><br> &qu 0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Lucky 5 9/9/2017 A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 , makes $55, 555.55 a year, and who’s lucky number is 5, receives a phone call from a friend. <br><br> The friend 0 Comments, 76 Views, 0 Votes | |
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in a play 9/9/2017 Boy: “Dad, I got a role in the school play, I play a man who’s been married for 20 years.” <br><br> Father: “That’s great, . Maybe someday you’ll get a speaking part.” 0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Better Insurance 7/29/2017 A student in medical school wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the faci 0 Comments, 79 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Obsessed Mother's 6/13/2017 A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small . "You all have obsessions, " he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. Y 0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A Dwarf 6/2/2017 Listen to this, I was coming home from work tired as heck, it was like 99 degrees sweat in my eyes, and knocked the shit out of the car stopped in front of me. To tired to move I just sat there. In a 0 Comments, 122 Views, 0 Votes | |
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2 Black Eyes 5/12/2017 A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress 0 Comments, 90 Views, 0 Votes | |
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21st Century Newspaper 5/12/2017 I was visiting my last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. 'This is the 21st century, ' she said. 'We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.'. I can tell you this... That f 0 Comments, 50 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Fly Swatter 5/3/2017 A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Hunting flies, ” he responded. “Oh! Killi 0 Comments, 125 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Wife Singing 5/3/2017 A married woman starts singing, and sees her husband go out the back door onto the deck... She goes to the back door, and ask him why do you go out on the deck everytime I start singing??? 0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Marital Spat 4/30/2017 A guy was telling his friend that he and his wife had a serious argument the night before. “But it ended, ” he said, “when she came crawling to me on her hands and knees.” 0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Tiny House 4/30/2017 A social worker from a big city recently transferred to an area of hills and valleys in the Appalachians and was on her first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she ever ha 0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Hunting Guide Lost 4/29/2017 A local hunting guide got himself into a big problem. His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray. “You told us you were the best guide in 0 Comments, 57 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Cash Cow 4/20/2017 A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, a 0 Comments, 118 Views, 0 Votes | |
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For Nascar Fans 4/20/2017 A man walks into a bar with his dog. A Sprint Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt Jr is doing. The bartender says "Earnhardts is in 25th". The jumps up, and runs around the b 0 Comments, 125 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Doggy Style ??? 4/15/2017 Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one. "Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's 0 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Man Filing for Retirement 4/15/2017 A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pocket 0 Comments, 113 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Prostate Exam 4/15/2017 After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate Exam 2 years ago, I decided to have my next exam with a new doctor. Where they claim to be more gentle and accommodating. 0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes | |
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What did he say! 4/11/2017 I was over at a good friend of mines house... We we're sitting there drinking a beer... and his 16 year old came walking in and said hey Dad Had my first Blow Job.............It made me smile And his 0 Comments, 80 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Erection Problem 4/8/2017 A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned the store, there were no 0 Comments, 88 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Sunburn 4/8/2017 A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn all over his body. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burn 0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Gay at 15 ??? 4/8/2017 A student at school went in to see his counselor. He talked awhile and then broke it to him that he Was only 15 and gay... The counselor said you don't that for sure your only 15 He said oh y 0 Comments, 77 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Wife and Husband's Best Friend 3/22/2017 Well a mans Wife and her Husband's Best Friend are laying in her bed Breathing heavily and the sheets soaking wet..from wild and passionate Sex... When the phone rings...she looks at the caller Id. an 0 Comments, 134 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Massaging a Lawyer 3/22/2017 . A lawyer is standing in a long queue at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands massaging his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around and says, "What the hell do you think yo 0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Bad Grandpa 3/13/2017 Grandpa got talked into watching his 5 year old grandson one afternoon.. Half asleep on the couch when he says...Grandpa can I go outside And play with Billy??? Go right ahead Grandpa says.. 5 minutes 0 Comments, 139 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Why men wear earrings 3/13/2017 Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men? A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a no 0 Comments, 100 Views, 0 Votes | |
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She's your Sister- 3/9/2017 A boy after graduation goes to his Dad and says he needs to speak to him.. Dad I'm so in love with Becky that we are going to get married.. said the Dad..when I was a younger man, I got around with T 0 Comments, 169 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Teacher to Class 3/9/2017 The teacher was describing the dolphin and its habits. "And, , "she said impressively, "a single dolphin will have two thousand offspring." "Goodness!" gasped a little girl in the ba 0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes | |
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CHICAGO 2/26/2017 I was in Macon Ga. the other day. I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read: "I miss Chicago ." So I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Ob 0 Comments, 63 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Be careful with this one 2/26/2017 Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, 0 Comments, 59 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SCAM ALERT 2/26/2017 Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get 0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Bathtub Test 2/19/2017 During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. 'Well, ' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we 0 Comments, 133 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Big Trouble 2/19/2017 The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 mill 0 Comments, 119 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Firetruck 2/19/2017 A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides & a garden hose tightly coiled in the midd 0 Comments, 119 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Orgasm Problem 2/19/2017 Woman goes to her doctor...And says “Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm!” . Doctor says...“Are you doing anything for it?” “ Yea Snorti 0 Comments, 54 Views, 0 Votes | |
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My fav. Blonde joke 2/2/2017 . A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our barte 0 Comments, 143 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Who's the thief?? 2/1/2017 A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!" The th 0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Alabama Farmer 2/1/2017 What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A . ROLL TIDE I LOVE THEM... 0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Relatives??? 2/1/2017 Ernie asks Joe, "If I slept with your wife and had a would that make us related?" Joe says to Ernie, "No but it would make us even." 0 Comments, 56 Views, 0 Votes | |
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3 to think about 1/1/2017 Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage? Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don’t you eve 0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Think About It 1/1/2017 Why do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? 0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I love blonde jokes 2 12/17/2016 Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurt 0 Comments, 46 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I love blonde jokes 12/17/2016 One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor ask's her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly pick 0 Comments, 40 Views, 0 Votes | |
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It's a Joke 2 12/8/2016 Its important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job. Its important to have a woman who can make you laugh. Its important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie. 0 Comments, 46 Views, 0 Votes | |
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It's a Joke 12/8/2016 A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It is opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse maga 0 Comments, 63 Views, 0 Votes | |
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laugh 11/13/2016 I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629. 0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Panties 9/30/2016 If your the kind who thinks panties just slow you down And keeping up with who fucked who and when Don't you hate lovers that never make a sound I do, but thats not a problem when I stick mine in 0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Head Nurse 5/7/2016 How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees. 0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Teacher and Student 5/7/2016 Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?" Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about?" Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O! 0 Comments, 36 Views, 0 Votes | |
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2 kinds of people 5/7/2016 There are two kinds of people. Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord, " and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning.  0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Whistle 5/7/2016 What can a bird do that a man can't? Whistle through his pecker..... Go ahead laugh 0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes | |
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DINNER DATE 3/20/2016 A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair 0 Comments, 119 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Elderly Customer 3/20/2016 An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. "I'm 90 years old, " he says. 0 Comments, 60 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Blonde Patient 3/20/2016 A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her. "You'll be fine, " he said. She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to h 0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Marriage Retreat 3/20/2016 At the marriage retreat, Amy and John were told to individually write a sentence using the words sex and love. Amy wrote: When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one a 0 Comments, 64 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Exciting Wedding 3/20/2016 A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar, when the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, Hey man, I know yo 0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes | |
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CAT EATER 7/17/2015 The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'" 0 Comments, 65 Views, 0 Votes | |
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4 7/17/2015 A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest had black hair, dark eyes, and was short. The father eventual 0 Comments, 147 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I'm a Virgin 7/17/2015 A woman was getting married for her fourth time. On the first night of the honeymoon, the new bride says to her groom "be gentle I'm a virgin." The groom replies "How's that possible, this is your 4th 0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Giving it Away 7/17/2015 I been laying here watching the ceiling Letting men have a good feeling Wondering just how much I've given away Twenty years atleast a couple times a day At 50 bucks a pop I'd be pretty rich 0 Comments, 27 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Wife Fucking 4/26/2015 I dusted off my boots and went out looking for another When I got back home I caught my wife fucking a brother With an instant erection I hid and watched them fuck With this a fantasy of mine I was th 0 Comments, 125 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Death of Love 3/12/2015 I put away inside my head Her smile and lips of red I bring it back from time to time Wishing she could still be mine A rose petal with morning dew Young love is always true Where is she whe 0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Do As I Please 4/26/2014 I like a girl that let's me do as I please I'll flip her over and put her on her knees Lay on my back and let her ride it too Reverse cowgirl so I can get a good view Fuck it slow n easy or hard n sle 0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes | |
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That Hurt 11/9/2013 Being a man who is always looking for a piece of pussy... And by setting my standards low I fucked most every nite... Had to talk them into taking me home without being pushy... Cause I probaly 0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes | |
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cum together 9/14/2012 Sometimes it happens on it's own Sometimes it's planned and oh do I moan I'll give you a feather if we Cum Together We can do it again maybe twice It's my my favorite it's my vice 0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Lucky Person 8/4/2012 Either pounding or getting pounded When it's time to cum I want to feel you pulsate Make me remember so later I can masturbate With me you can have a man or a woma 0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Sneezy 7/28/2012 “Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm!” . 0 Comments, 120 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Corporate America 7/28/2012 The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball. The game of choice for frontline workers is football. The game of choice for middle management is tennis. 0 Comments, 100 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Amishamed Of Myself 7/28/2012 What do you call an Amish man on the side of the road, with his hand up a ’s ass? A mechanic.  0 Comments, 93 Views, 0 Votes | |
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more shit house poetry 6/14/2012 He who writes on shithouse walls Rolls his shit in little balls He who reads these words of wit Eat those little balls of shit!!!  0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes | |
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more shit house poetry 6/2/2012 i've shit in england i've shit in france if this shit house was closer i would'nt have shit in my pants........... They use thier paint to cover my pen.... But the shit house poet ha 0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes | |
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From the shit house poet 6/2/2012 I'm really good at jacking off I'm glad that i'v learned how I shot my cum everywhere Your sitting in some now.. ...0 Comments, 16 Views, 0 Votes | |
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the repent 5/25/2012 saliva soaked you could tell hung head like ashamed show your agression your not blamed lick it like chicken or melon your face a glow from juice feel the tingle as there swellin primal screa 0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes | |
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This takes the cake 5/19/2012 Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.  ...0 Comments, 119 Views, 0 Votes | |
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FOR THE LADIES 5/14/2012 The husband, tired of a listless sex life came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm ?" She looked him rite in 0 Comments, 203 Views, 0 Votes | |
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nudist camp 5/14/2012 A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist 0 Comments, 180 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Them blue pills 5/14/2012 Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got r 0 Comments, 174 Views, 0 Votes | |
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IN A ELEVATOR 5/14/2012 A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it. He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast. He says, "Oh, I'm so s 0 Comments, 148 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Sounds Real 5/14/2012 A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were asked if they would ever sleep with President Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!' 0 Comments, 139 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Ask a pharmasist 5/5/2012A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male
pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was
the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned the store, there wer 0 Comments, 225 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Chicken Wire, Duct Tape and Branches 4/29/2012 A man sitting on his porch watched as his neighbor walked along the sidewalk carrying a ton of chicken wire. "Where are you going with all that chicken wire?" he yelled from the porch. "I'm g 0 Comments, 208 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Sex Joke 4/29/2012 A wife went in to see a therapist and said I've got a big problem doctor Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes he lets out this earsplitting yell. the shrink says not to wprry dear 0 Comments, 239 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Getting out of prison 4/19/2012 Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, "F.F." < 0 Comments, 213 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Rope and Two Knots 4/15/2012 (1) One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding they left for their honeymoo 0 Comments, 191 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I Killed A Pig 4/13/2012 A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my tr 0 Comments, 189 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Memorial Stone" 4/13/2012 A woman's husband dies. He had $20, 000 to his name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery she tells her closest friend that there is no money left. The friend says, "How 0 Comments, 175 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Right Click 4/13/2012 Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Desktop." Customer: "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click 0 Comments, 156 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Pussy Whipped 4/12/2012 I just found out a good friend of mine, is so whipped... If he come home late and his wife is asleep... You won't believe it... It's true.. If he has to pee - to k 0 Comments, 196 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Another Blonde One 4/12/2012 A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. 0 Comments, 185 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Had to be in Alabama {ROLL TIDE} 4/12/2012 The sheriff of a small town was also the town's animal Vet. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you requ 0 Comments, 169 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Having a Baby 4/12/2012 A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first ?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man sh 0 Comments, 184 Views, 0 Votes | |
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inspirational 4/6/2012 A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The 0 Comments, 228 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Magic Sex 4/6/2012 A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and asks, "You wanna play 'magic'?" She responds, "What's that?" He says, "Well we go back to my place and screw, and then you disappear!" 0 Comments, 179 Views, 0 Votes | |
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old man 1/6/2012 A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crus 0 Comments, 217 Views, 0 Votes | |
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sign language 1/6/2012 Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries s 0 Comments, 167 Views, 0 Votes | |
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PERFECT ? 12/31/2011 Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfe 0 Comments, 248 Views, 0 Votes | |
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TENNESSEE TRUCK DRIVER 12/29/2011 Did you hear about the truck driver from Tennessee that committed Suicide??? He had parents that he loved so much!! One Day he found out he was adopted!!! That about done it... b 0 Comments, 233 Views, 0 Votes | |
White 12/25/2011 A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a
primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them
reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gi 0 Comments, 296 Views, 0 Votes | |
Christmas joke 12/24/2011 For Christmas I bought my an iPad and my grand-
an iPod. The wife gave me an iPhone and I got her an iRon. She wasn’t overjoyed, even after I explained it can be integrated wi 0 Comments, 133 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Top 10 Bumper Stickers 12/24/2011 1...Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. 2...If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. 3...My Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. 4...To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing. 5... 0 Comments, 155 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Job Opening 12/24/2011 A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind t 0 Comments, 196 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Ugly Shopper 12/24/2011 A very ugly woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two . The Wal-Mart greeter asks, "Are they twins?" The ugly woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they really look alike?" 0 Comments, 172 Views, 0 Votes | |
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DRUNK DECOY 12/24/2011 One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on 0 Comments, 136 Views, 0 Votes | |
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PULLED OVER 12/24/2011A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette
convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80
mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair
he had left on his head. 0 Comments, 172 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Black Testicles 12/20/2011 A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the 0 Comments, 179 Views, 0 Votes | |
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PORN CHANNEL 12/19/2011 A guy checks in to a motel and tells the clerk "I would like for the porn channel to be disabled." YOU SICK BASTARD" the clerk replied "WE ONLY HAVE REGULAR PORN HERE."   0 Comments, 129 Views, 0 Votes | |
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THIS IS TRUE 12/14/2011 A is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, whic 0 Comments, 300 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Name that animal 12/14/2011 Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of Name That Animal. The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What Animal is this?" "A cat!" said Suzy. "Good job! Now, what's this Anima 0 Comments, 145 Views, 0 Votes | |
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IRAQ JOKE 12/11/2011 Why don't they teach sexual education and driver education on the same day in IRAQ?????????????? THEY DON'T WANT TO WEAR THE CAMEL OUT!!!!!  0 Comments, 127 Views, 0 Votes | |
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weatherman calls 12/9/2011 Wife: Who was that on the phone?Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau.Wife: What did he say?Husband: He asked if the coast was clear...  0 Comments, 121 Views, 0 Votes | |
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NOT A 12/3/2011 I like fucking I like head On the floor Or in a bed Top or bottom I don't care Behind a door Or on time square I'll do it for free I, ve done it for a buck No i'm not a I just like to fuck !!!!!  0 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Female Viagra 12/1/2011 Do you know the name for female viagra ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????// JEWELRY...0 Comments, 90 Views, 0 Votes | |
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BLONDE HUMOR 11/30/2011 A brunette and a blond were talking and the brunette says "I slept with a Brazilian man last night." so the blonde says "OMG, how many is a Brazilian?" ha ha... 0 Comments, 130 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Hank Williams Jr. apologized 11/30/2011 Hank Williams Jr. apologized for comparing President Obama to Adolf Hitler Sunday in a Fox News interview. Monday, the surviving members of the Hitler family appeared on Germ 0 Comments, 156 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Question??? 11/26/2011 Think about it... If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a get layed off? 0 Comments, 196 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Erotic or Kinky 11/13/2011 What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic = using a feather Kinky = using the whole chicken 0 Comments, 65 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Hillbilly 11/3/2011 Why did the hillybilly cross the road? His cock was stuck in the chicken !!!  0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Fucking You in my Mind 10/2/2011 I was thinking of you, and started rubbing my cock.. In just a minute it was as hard as a rock.. So I squirted on some oil and started stroking it hard... I pictured us fucking outside in your own fro 0 Comments, 103 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Cheese sammich 10/1/2011 A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $5.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary paymen 0 Comments, 144 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Do you have a vagina? 10/1/2011 A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady "Do you have a vagina". She slams the door in disgust 0 Comments, 218 Views, 0 Votes | |
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FEMALE ARCHEOLOGIST 9/27/2011 How do you piss off a female archeologist? Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from ???  0 Comments, 70 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I'm Gay 9/26/2011 Entering his sophmore year in high school, Ricky sought out advise from his counselor... Ricky explained to him how he was GAY...And wondered if you could tell me why??? The counselor ask Ric 0 Comments, 179 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Condom Advice 9/26/2011 A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old . They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called con 0 Comments, 215 Views, 0 Votes | |
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VOODOO - DICK 9/22/2011 A woman went to the XXX-shop, since her hubby was in Iraq, she was looking for a toy to keep her busy. She bought a dildo that the woman behind the counter told her, would magically fuck her if she sa 0 Comments, 159 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A WOMAN 9/22/2011 What do you call a woman............. With ESP and PMS ??? A Bitch That Knows It All !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  0 Comments, 81 Views, 0 Votes | |
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In ALABAMA 9/21/2011 What do you call a Man in Alabama wearing a 3 piece suit!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DEFENDANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... 0 Comments, 98 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Prisioner 9/21/2011 The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 't 0 Comments, 182 Views, 0 Votes | |
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From Gynecologist to Mechanic 9/19/2011A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice
insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial; he decided to bec 0 Comments, 174 Views, 0 Votes | |
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She said too!!! 9/14/2011 Two women are at the water cooler, and the first one says, "I've got a sore throat." The second one says, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat, I go home and give my husband a blow job, and it cl 0 Comments, 216 Views, 0 Votes | |
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RENO BROTHEL 8/28/2011 A truck DRIVER has been out on the road for 4 months. Now he, s stuck out west and lives in the east. In serious need of some pussy, he find the first brothel he can find... Runs in and says 0 Comments, 207 Views, 0 Votes | |
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GIVE IT A VOTE 8/27/2011 If you take time to read, what we have took time to put here, for you to read, please take time to give it a vote..Good or bad we appreciate both... Thank You 0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Flying Insect 8/27/2011A mother father and thier 7 y.o. were riding
down the road one day. They were behind a garbage truck..
When all of a sudden a big dildo flew out the truck and landed
right on the windshield 0 Comments, 175 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Thin skinned dont read 8/18/2011 WHAT DOES A FAT WHITE GIRL AND A BRICK HAVE IN COMMON??????????????????? SOONER OR LATER THEY, LL BOTH BE LAYED BY A MEXICAN!!! JUST A JOKE.. 0 Comments, 158 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Alabama 8/7/2011 I just found out for sure , that if a boy and girl get married in Alabama , then move to Georgia , that they are still COUSINS!! ha ha come on I love Alabama 0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Burned 8/7/2011 A truck driver was in abad crash, he rolled his rig and was trapped in his seat. The rig caught on fire burning him badly. It got so hot it burned his eyelids off. At the hospital they noticed he had 0 Comments, 182 Views, 0 Votes | |
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State Trooper 7/22/2011 A state trooper pulls over 2 guys out on I-20 He told them they we, re speeding. He lectured for 5 or 10 min. then reached in the window and grabbed the driver by his neck and back slapped him across 0 Comments, 124 Views, 0 Votes | |
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GOLFER 7/16/2011 A man plays golf every weekend, his wife is not real happy about it, but always grins and says have a good time and only play 18 holes...The man gets on the course and every hole is a eagle or birdie. 0 Comments, 137 Views, 0 Votes | |
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UFO FUCK 7/9/2011 In the UFO capital of the world..Alabama..A boy and a girl who every night drove out in a pasture somewhere and had sex.. Well this night they we, re getting started and looked up and saw a flying sau 0 Comments, 217 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Wife 7/3/2011 I hollered at my wife to come here..When she came in the room, I told her I was gonna tell her a joke that would knock her titties right off!!! Then I realized she had already heard it!!! C... 0 Comments, 128 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Old Man and his Dog 6/11/2011 An old man had a that was 15 years old.. He loved that dog like a ... One day the got hit by a car.. He grabbed the up and ran to the vet. He carried the in yelled to the nurse and they rushed him ba 0 Comments, 128 Views, 0 Votes | |
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3 Pregnant Women 5/7/2011 3 pregnant Women we, re in the waiting room at their Doctor. All 3 about 8 months along, and they get to talking. One woman says i, m having a boy and thats just what we want. Another woman says i, 0 Comments, 102 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Low On Oil 5/1/2011 A man was on top of his wife, tearing her pussy up, legs bowed back and a hand full of hair. And little Johnny walks in and screams and takes off running. Daddy jumps off mommy and says come here, it 0 Comments, 218 Views, 0 Votes | |
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MY HEAD 4/30/2011 I lay in bed and hold my head, Not the one on my shoulders, It gets stiff as i look at a milf, Hot like a fire as it smolders, Up and down stro 0 Comments, 50 Views, 0 Votes | |
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ED 4/17/2011 Let me tell you a story..bout a man named ED..A big COCK motherfucker always kept is women fed!!! 0 Comments, 54 Views, 0 Votes |
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