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oral sex 18/9/2004
A man accompanied his wife to the doctor's office.
After the checkup, the doctor took the husband aside and
said, "Your wife is suffering from severe, long-term
stress and it's affecting her cardiovascular system.
She's a good candidate for either a heart attack or
a stroke. If you don't do the following four things,
your wife will surely die".
<br>
"First, each morning, fix ...
0 Comentarios, 19 Vistas,
57 Votos
,7.11 Puntuación
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couple 18/9/2004
There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident.
The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told
the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body
because she was so skinny.
<br>
The husband then donated some of his skin..... however,
the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks.
<br>
The husband requested that no one be told of ...
0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas,
30 Votos
,8.04 Puntuación
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breasts 18/9/2004
A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her
breasts in the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"
<br>
She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told
me I have the breasts of a 25 year old."
<br>
The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about
your 50 year old ass?"
<br>
She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came
up."
0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas,
31 Votos
,7.55 Puntuación
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anorexic chick 18/9/2004
Q:what's the best thing about dating an anorexic chick
?
<br>
<br>
A very day you see less and less of the bitch
0 Comentarios, 4 Vistas,
22 Votos
,4.81 Puntuación
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The Piano Player 18/9/2004
A sign in the window of a bar advertised for a Piano Player
and one day a scruffy looking old guy entered the bar asking
about the job.
<br>
The bartender was put off by the man's looks, but pointed
him to the piano in the corner.
<br>
As the old man began to play, the room was filled with the
most beautiful, melodious music anyone in the bar had ever
heard. During ...
0 Comentarios, 21 Vistas,
13 Votos
,6.16 Puntuación
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Ingredients 18/9/2004
They finally released the ingredients in Viagra:
3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat
0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas,
12 Votos
,6.33 Puntuación
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Blonde Jokes 17/9/2004
FIRST DEGREE BLONDE....
<br>
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the
phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
husband
said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I
don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast
is clear."
<br>
...
0 Comentarios, 83 Vistas,
34 Votos
,8.00 Puntuación
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Where do babies come out? 17/9/2004
Where Do Babies Come Out?
<br>
A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother,
"Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out
of the same place where boys put their penises?"
Yes, dear, " replies her mother, pleased that the
subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to
explain it to her .
But then when I have a baby, " the pondered,
"won't it knock ...
0 Comentarios, 38 Vistas,
36 Votos
,8.42 Puntuación
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poppie 17/9/2004
what part of poppie will never rust?
the part he sticks in olive oil.
0 Comentarios, 2 Vistas,
29 Votos
,2.64 Puntuación
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tasty!!! 17/9/2004
how do you know when your wife is pissed off at you?-when
you find a white piece of string in your cherry pie!!
0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas,
24 Votos
,0.06 Puntuación
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brain power!!! 17/9/2004
how many blondes does it take to replace a lightbulb?-dont
know it hasnt been done yet!!
0 Comentarios, 3 Vistas,
14 Votos
,1.06 Puntuación
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call that a joke??? 17/9/2004
man walks into a bar and gets killed-it was an iron bar!!
0 Comentarios, 9 Vistas,
15 Votos
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Walks into a Bar 17/9/2004
A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says "whadda
ya havin" and the giraffe replys:
<br>
"high balls on me"
0 Comentarios, 8 Vistas,
15 Votos
,0.22 Puntuación
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Another Blonde Joke 17/9/2004
What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
<br>
A washing machine doens't follow you around for 6 mos
after you drop a load into it.
0 Comentarios, 21 Vistas,
14 Votos
,2.02 Puntuación
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Two sides of story 17/9/2004
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she
needs some cyanide.
<br>
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world would you need
cyanide?"
<br>
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
<br>
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord
have mercy. I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband!
That's against the law! ...
0 Comentarios, 29 Vistas,
22 Votos
,7.57 Puntuación
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laugh-when? 17/9/2004
how do make a blonde laugh in the morning?-tell her a joke
the night before !
0 Comentarios, 10 Vistas,
10 Votos
,2.99 Puntuación
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Whats the difference? 17/9/2004
Whats the difference
<br>
Between a blow job and an egg?
<br>
You can beat an egg, but you cant beat a blow job
0 Comentarios, 15 Vistas,
10 Votos
,3.19 Puntuación
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Difference between like, love, hate 17/9/2004
What is the diffence between like, love, and hate?
<br>
Spit, swallow, and bite
0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas,
9 Votos
,2.36 Puntuación
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FRIEND vs. BEST FRIEND 16/9/2004
A FRIEND WILL HELP YOU MOVE, YOUR BEST FRIEND WILL HELP YOU
MOVE A BODY.
1 Comentarios, 121 Vistas,
18 Votos
,2.99 Puntuación
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TWO FOUL MOUTHED BROTHERS 16/9/2004
Two little boys, an 8 year old and a 10 year old came downstairs
for breakfast one morning.When there mother asked what
the 10 year old wanted for breakfast he answered "I
WANT SOME FUCKING WAFFLES". His mother turned and
smacked him so hard he fell out of his chair.When she turned
to the 8 year old and asked what he would like for breakfast
he looked down at his big brother lying on the ...
0 Comentarios, 45 Vistas,
20 Votos
,6.06 Puntuación
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bill cosby 15/9/2004
theres a really out of control class and the teacher quits.
The replacement teacher is a no nonscence guy who doesn't
put up with any crap. The first day tells the students "ok
if you guys are good then at the end of the week before dismissal
i will ask you one question and if anybody can answer that
correctly you will have a 3 day weekend" so the
are like cool no mondays, so they are ...
0 Comentarios, 4 Vistas,
11 Votos
,2.79 Puntuación
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My nipples are still hot for you! 15/9/2004
An elderly couple had just sat down to enjoy a nice breakfast.
The woman looked over at her husband of 50 years and with
love and lust in her eyes she said,
"George, after all these years, my nipples are still
hot for you"
George looked up from his paper and said,
"Well of course they are....one's in your tea
and the other's in your porridge!"
0 Comentarios, 11 Vistas,
37 Votos
,6.71 Puntuación
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Bricks 15/9/2004
Whats heavier a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?
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...
0 Comentarios, 4 Vistas,
11 Votos
,0.55 Puntuación
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Roosters 15/9/2004
There were 3 roosters, a gay one, a straght one, and a retarded
one. The straight one says cock a doodle do, the retarded
one say doodle doodle cock, the gay one says any cock'll
do.
0 Comentarios, 5 Vistas,
14 Votos
,1.54 Puntuación
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Robot Secretary 15/9/2004
Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious
techo-geek.
<br>
"Hey, bud, how are ya?"
<br>
"I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary
of yours is beautiful!"
<br>
"Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not,
she's a robot!
<br>
"No way, how could that be?"
<br>
"Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme ...
0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas,
14 Votos
,4.10 Puntuación
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Lewish man 14/9/2004
A lewish man is sitting and his comes walking in and says
"Father, can I have $5.00 please?" The father
looks up and says"$4.00 dollors?....what do you
need $3.00 for?!?!?!"
0 Comentarios, 16 Vistas,
13 Votos
,0.79 Puntuación
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right thing to say 14/9/2004
Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself
to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of
aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up
and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect
order, spotless, clean.
<br>
So's the rest of the house. He takes the ...
1 Comentarios, 47 Vistas,
42 Votos
,8.93 Puntuación
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Used car Lot 14/9/2004
> > Used car Lot <<It was a small town and the
patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking
a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting
in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing
the car. One said, "Heavens no, we bought it today."
He said, "Then why don't you drive it away?"
The other said "We can't drive." He said,
"Then why ...
1 Comentarios, 25 Vistas,
3 Votos
,0.98 Puntuación
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The New Bride 14/9/2004
Old Counrty Farmer buys a mail order bride. She comes in
on a train so the Farmer hitches the mule to the wagon and
drives down to pick her up. He loads up the wagon puts her
up on the seat, cimbs up but the mule will not move. Farmer
gets off the wagon walks up to the mule Says " thats
" 1 ". Walks back cimbs up on the wagon mules moves
on. About 5 miles out they come to a creek, mule ...
0 Comentarios, 12 Vistas,
39 Votos
,2.91 Puntuación
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did you order some whisky? 14/9/2004
Baxter was staying in a nice hotel and decided to go out and
get a bottle of whisky since he was bored and it was getting
late.. he wanted to have a few dirnks. On his way back up to
the room, he got off the elevator and opened the bottle and
took a hit.. then started walking down the hall to his room.
Suddenly, he started hearing the damndest noise from down
the hall... he walked quietly ...
0 Comentarios, 37 Vistas,
4 Votos
,4.80 Puntuación
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